


if i'm going to be swept away

by malkinisms (hannibalisms)



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: F/M, Gender Issues, Genderplay, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-20
Updated: 2012-05-20
Packaged: 2017-11-05 16:31:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/408571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannibalisms/pseuds/malkinisms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor lets people think that he's not intelligent.  It works to his advantage, allowing people to think that his head is filled with empty space and the throne and getting raucously, smashingly drunk with Tony on the weekends when they're not fighting people who have evil plans for the planet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if i'm going to be swept away

**Author's Note:**

> for [gaynordicbros](http://gaynordicbros.tumblr.com), who wanted thor/lady!loki, and whose wish is my command.
> 
> the title comes from the VETO song ["we are not your friends"](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AL45k4v-pAo), and I suggest that you listen to it, because it is amazing.
> 
> also [here on tumblr.](http://kipumylly.tumblr.com/post/23397864967/if-im-going-to-be-swept-away)

Thor lets people think that he's not intelligent.  It works to his advantage, allowing people to think that his head is filled with empty space and the throne and getting raucously, smashingly drunk with Tony on the weekends when they're not fighting people who have evil plans for the planet.

Thor is not as thoughtful as Bruce, maybe, or as brilliant as Tony, or as skilled in espionage as Clint and Natasha, but he knows his stuff.  He knows how to fight, and how to rule, and how to make people happy.  He knows instinctively how people feel about things, and how he needs to talk to them to make them feel better or to help them solve their problems.  He is good with emotions, maybe because he has more often listened to his heart than to his head.

Thor has no problem with admitting these things, but some days it makes him wonder what made him like that.  It is not as though he was stunted emotionally or anything like that, or that his parents made him think he was more brawn than brains; it's just that, as in all things, Thor tended to act on his emotions where others thought about their reactions.

Often, Thor finds himself thinking about how different he and Loki are when he thinks about deep, personal matters.  More than that, he finds himself telling his psyche that even though he and Loki are not blood brothers, they are still bound by the life that they had shared and the things that they had been through.

Loki's punishment after their return to Asgard nearly shattered that, though.  It nearly broke them to pieces, until they had one of their rollicking fights and half of the wing was demolished (between Loki's magic and Thor's hammer) and Thor has Loki pinned to the floor, gasping for breath as Loki sobs below him and Thor cannot do anything but bow his head and acknowledge aloud how many times they have hurt each other.

When Thor decided to return to Midgard he asked Loki to come with him rather than demanding it or ordering it - because Odin was still priming him to be king - and to his surprise, Loki ponders it for a moment, slipping red, round grapes between his teeth until he finally answers that he would accompany Thor to Midgard.

The Avengers were reluctant to allow Loki into the tower, but Thor insisted that his brother would be helpful in fighting, for his magic made him able to fight in ways that the others could not.  Steve was the first to agree, as long as Loki promised to behave or not plot evil deeds, and if Steve agreed Tony agreed, and the others fell into line after that.

At the moment, however, the Tower was in the middle of renovations and there were no other rooms available, so Thor and Loki were relegated to staying in the same room.  Not that they minded it, Thor heard Loki telling Clint while they were practicing together (Clint with arrows and Loki with his throwing knives), because they had shared a room as children together until they were "too old" according to Odin, so it wasn't something that they weren't used to.

Loki would never tell Thor any of this, of course.  It was just the way that they were with each other.

When Thor returns to their rooms after a long sparring session with Tony - the Man of Iron laments that he is not stronger out of the suit, so he asked Thor to help him train, and Thor is not going to refuse him _that_ particular request - he is disappointed to find the door to the bathroom shut and the water running.

Loki was always more concerned about being clean than Thor was, but that doesn't mean that Thor was one to wallow in his own filth.

He takes off his outer armor, leaving only his tunic and pants and sits on the bed, reclining, waiting for Loki to exit the bathroom so he can get in the tub.  Tony may be smaller and less powerful, but he is still quite strong.

The water turns off and Thor swings his legs back over the side of the bed and stands as the door opens, steam billowing out like fog, and Thor glances up to see Loki, but _not_ Loki.

This is Loki-as-a-woman, and Thor just stares, from the long, curling black hair to the swell of her breasts and the curve of her hips, to the towel clutched in her hands and her form flickers, changes, and it's Loki-as-a-man.

Loki cringes and wrings the towel in his hands.  "Now you know," Loki whispers, and Thor has to strain to hear it, "now you know my greatest secret, Thor."

He winds the towel around himself and slinks across the room to a chair, far away from where Thor stands at the side of the bed and stares at him.  He seems to shrink into the cushions, trying to hide his form and Thor wonders, _how could he have missed this?_

"I knew you could change your shape, Loki, but this, this is ..." Thor trails off, not sure how to proceed, and Loki chuckles, wet, and Thor has never seen Loki with tears rolling down his face.

"I can be whatever I choose to be.  I like both shapes equally.  All Jotnar are all-gendered, choosing to shift our shapes as we need to," he says, burying his face in his hands.  "In my true form, I am all things.  In this form, I flow between both male and female according to my whims."

Loki looks up and smiles, not in joy but in shame, and the words fall from his mouth.  "Will you tell the Allfather what Loki Silvertongue is?"

This spurs Thor to action.  He crosses the room and sinks to his knees in front of the chair that Loki is curled into, and he wants to touch Loki but he doesn't know how.  He doesn't, not at the moment, but his palms hover over Loki's thighs before lighting on the arms of the chair.

"No," he says, "I will not.  All I will tell you is that though any shape other than this is strange to me, it is not - it is not _displeasing_ , Loki.  I love you whatever form you are."

Loki's face softens and crumples and Loki is still attractive tear-stained and red, and he seems to blur for a moment - just a moment - and then she's back, still red and teary and curled into the chair.

"I can still tell it is you," Thor murmurs, finally reaching up and turning Loki's chin this way and that, inspecting her face.  "You still look the same, but different.  I still know it is you, just as I always have."

"Oh?" she asks, long, slender fingers wrapping around Thor's wrist and pushing him away, but not _away._

Thor's hands fall away, back to his lap, and her hands rise to the edge of her towel, just under the dip in her collarbone and hover there for a moment.  Thor wonders what is going to happen, and then she strips the towel away from her and Thor is allowed to look upon her for the first time.

Her skin is the same color, milky pale and nearly unblemished except for scars that Thor can name the cause of that are in the same place as they always are.  Her shoulders are still dotted with freckles and there is still a splotch of a birthmark next to her navel.

The difference is, of course, that she is a woman.  Where Loki-as-a-man is flat, toned muscle that can flip Thor without a thought, and Thor supposes that Loki-as-a-woman could do this as well, she is also full of soft curves and soft flesh, full breasts with rosy nipples that peak in the cold air.

She senses his need for exploration but Thor is still surprised when her legs part, slowly, and Thor can't help raising his hands to stroke along her thighs, over her knees, stroking along her ankles.

"You are not disgusted with me?"

Her voice is deep for a woman, warm honey and it's still Loki, always Loki, and Thor presses a kiss to the bend of her knee before answering.  "I have never been disgusted with you, Loki.  Not once."

"Sometimes I disgust myself," Loki murmur, hand reaching out to stroke through Thor's hair, pulling out the tangles gently, and she continues.  "I think sometimes that I am a freak, that I enjoy this shape so when my natural form is all things.  It does not seem as though it is normal, never has, but at the same time ... at the same time, the form is brilliant in ways that my other forms are not.  Is there shame in this?"

"No," Thor answers without hesitation.  "There is no shame in loving something that is a part of you.  As I said, I love you all the same."

"All of me?" she asks, and Thor's brow furrows in momentary confusion before she shifts down, hips on the edge of the chair and the towel falls away completely, exposing a part of her that Thor knows very few have seen.

Thor is more experienced with men - it was his first preference, after all, and Loki was high on that list, the first - but this is still Loki, he tells himself, so what does it matter his form?

Thor straightens up, over her legs and presses a kiss to the birthmark on her stomach as he always has, kissing his way up her abdomen until he encounters the soft edge of a breast and he snuffles into the skin, tongue darting out to see if she tastes the same, and she does - vanilla and ice and smoke and the sharp edge that is all Loki.

She makes a soft noise as he presses sucking kisses across her skin, and says softly, "Your beard tickles."

"You would have it no other way," Thor murmurs against her skin, finally finding a rosy nipple and taking it in his mouth, and her back arches into the feeling and Thor slips his left hand onto the small of her back, holding her against his mouth and the feeling of his tongue and teeth.

His right trails delicately from her knee, up her leg to the other breast, filling his hand perfectly and it makes a soft noise come up from his throat, pure pleasure, and Loki's soft gasp is enough to make him pull away for a moment.

"I would have your assurance that my attentions are welcome, Loki," Thor says, thumb and forefinger pinching the nipple that he has yet to taste and her back arches more, pushing towards him.

"Have I ever refused you my body?"

Thor shrugs, watching as a warm flush spreads from her throat all the way down her body, and he wants to trace it with his tongue. "No, but you should know that I would never take from you without your agreement, Loki."

It's the first time in this encounter when Loki seems to be in control and she rolls her eyes, moving herself further down in the chair, closer to him.  "If I was not going to allow you to touch me," she says, "you would know it."

Thor smirks and they are on familiar footing again, the same bickering they always have at these moments when there is no one around, when they can join and merge and be one mind.

"Will you continue, _brother_ , or will I create a shade to please me?" Her words are deliberate and electric, and it makes Thor frown at the thought of someone that is not him delighting in this form of Loki.

He slides his hand free from her back and then parts her legs more, pressing another kiss to her stomach before trailing his tongue down, down, until his lips just press against the beginnings of dark, coarse hair.  He rubs his nose against her skin there, taking in the scent of her - and it's so familiar, so much the same, but so different all at the same time - and he could get used to this form, or the other, or all of them.

Her knees tighten around his shoulders and he glances up, and she commands sharply, "Off," with a gesture in his general direction.

He smiles, crooked and sharp, and stands quickly to divest himself of shirt, pants, and boxer-briefs before returning to his knees in front of her, and he thinks for a moment that if Loki had been like this when he first returned to Asgard, if this was the sight that greeted him on the throne, Thor would have sworn fealty to her then and there, and then made her _scream_ with the pleasure of it all.

Her knees part again as he leans forward and he delivers a sharp bite to the meat of her thigh, just for the hiss it makes her let out and the sight of her pale skin darkening, and it's just another thing that Thor loves about Loki that no one will ever understand.

When he finally reaches his goal, she is already wet against his tongue and Loki's hands scramble to Thor's head, pressing him down and it's clear that she knows what she wants, knows that Thor will let her lead him.  She tosses a knee over his shoulder and urges him closer, tighter to him, and he cannot resist the urge to press his tongue inside of her.

"Brother," she gasps, back arching.  Thor looks up, and her eyes are wide open and her pupils are blown, and he presses in further, deeper, and let it not be said that Thor does not know how to please women.

He knows what Loki enjoys in her other form and his fingers press into her thigh, leaving red marks that will more than likely deepen to bruises.  He finds what Loki enjoys in this form, what makes her go stiff then ragged, what makes her muscles clench and release until her breathing is ragged and on every exhale she lets out moans, whimpers, and then she begins to speak.

"You didn't lock the door, did you?  No, of course not, and any person could walk in without thinking, could see us like this, and they're bright enough to figure it out, to _know_ -"

And Thor can't hold back the need to press a finger into her along his tongue, so he does, and she cries out, higher-pitched that he is used to but still Loki, and the rhythmic clenching of her inner muscles and the flood of salt from her cunt make him grunt with pleasure, make him want to plunder her and make her his.

She pushes him away after a moment, moaning and over-stimulated, and he watches her eyelids flutter and her chest heave, sweat dotting her brow and he leans up again to kiss her.  She opens her mouth to him and he wonders what she thinks, tasting her on his tongue, on his lips, but she doesn't seem to mind.

"I adore you," he mumbles as he presses kisses from her chin down her front again, over her shoulder to press another sharp bite there.  "I adore everything about you."

"Mmm," she sighs, soft smile curving her lips.  "Prove it?"

He grins with the challenge and for the first time in the moment he realizes just how aroused he is, how he is so very hard for her and she grins about it and he wants her even more.

He tugs her up and out of the chair and her legs are still shaky but she lets him slump down into the chair, cock curving up towards his stomach and this time he's the one being studied and looked at.  She straddles his lap and she's more confident now, more assured that he still wants her (he could never _not_ want Loki).  Before she can be hasty, he grips her around the waist, hands tight and stroking, slowing and stilling her.

She raises a sharp eyebrow and he responds to the unvoiced question, "Let me guide you."

She sighs but relaxes into his hands, allowing him to lead.

He drags his fingers down a hip, down the crease of where her leg joins her pelvis, over the dark curls (still wet, and it makes Thor shudder and want her riding his face, that wet, sweet, salt lingering over his tongue and teeth) and then slips them inside her.

She's tight and loose all at the same time, and her head tilts back at the intrusion, dark hair falling over her shoulders and all along her back and sticking against the sweat.

Her thighs glisten in the afternoon sun, wet from his mouth and her own lubrication and sweat and it makes Thor's mouth water, because Loki is the most beautiful thing that he's ever seen and he tells her as she rides his hand.

She doesn't say anything, just smiles down at him but then the smile leaves her face as he adds another finger, crooking them inside her for a moment before remembering that there is nothing there to search for, but she gasps and moans, "Again, Thor, again, there -"

And he has never been able to deny Loki anything, until she is gasping and rolling and so close, and Thor pulls his fingers away, ignoring her moan of loss.  She tastes divine against his tongue.

Loki uses his momentary distraction to shove his hand away from her and grasp his cock and, without any warning at all, she sinks down onto him.  Her moan is mingled pleasure and pain, and Thor wonders at the difference of this body.  She is tight and warm and slick, and after a few moments of adjustment she's easy to slide into and their rhythm is a familiar one that they've fallen into a million times.

She groans once they have everything settled and the look on her face is relaxed but tight, as though she doesn't know which side of the spectrum to fall into as she raises her hips and then lowers them again, grinding down onto his cock in a way that makes Thor want to bowl them over and fuck her into the floor.

He doesn't, though, because Loki is so clearly enjoying herself, moans falling from her lips and her tongue darting out to lick at them.

She rides him hard and sure, and Thor slips one hand from her hip to press against her where she is still swollen and sensitive, and the pressure on her clit makes her bow toward him with a cry.  Her hips begin to roll on every downward push and Thor feels her tighten, feels her orgasm begin and crest and wash over them both as she gasps out, "Thor, Thor, Thor," until he can do nothing but press his hips up and follow her, sudden and fiery and brilliant.

Even through his orgasm he can only focus on that hot clench of her muscles and the pulse of wetness over his fingers - of course Loki would orgasm like that, wonderfully fulfilling - until she's moaning and pressing her face into his neck as he licks her juices off his fingers, pleased with both her and himself.

Loki is either unwilling to move or unable, but Thor doesn't mind this new weight on his lap, breasts pressed against his chest and lips against the curve of his jaw.

After a few long moments, she stretches up and they part and there's a shimmer of _something_ and Loki-as-a-man is back and looking at Thor with hooded eyes, and Thor doesn't know what he's thinking.

"All right, Loki?"

Loki nods and settles back down, mindless of the mess they've left, and presses a kiss to Thor's cheek.

"You like this form of me," he mumbles against Thor's skin, "but I always thought that it was a matter of choosing and changing and being one or the other."

"It may seem as such, Loki, but never doubt that no matter what you choose, I will always love you," Thor tells him, ghosting his fingers over the curve of Loki's spine.  "You are still my Loki."

Loki huffs softly against Thor's cheek.  "Of course.  We have been through much more, I suppose you'd tell me."

"No, Loki," Thor tells him, turning his head to make eye contact with him.  "I would never downplay a matter so close to your heart as this.  No matter what you accept about yourself, I will always be here."

"Even if I do not wish to choose?" Loki asks him, taking Thor's hand and leading it to the join of his legs, and Loki is a beautiful stretch person, dark hair and pale skin, flat chest and warm cunt.  Thor's breath stutters out of his chest and he feels a second curl of arousal shift through him.

"Even then, my Loki."

Loki's grin is a shark as he slowly shifts on Thor's fingers, beginning to ride him again, gearing up to take Thor into him again.

"Do you prefer one or the other?"

The question is loaded and for a moment Thor cannot answer, but he knows that the truth is the only option: "I like all of them."

The tightness that was barely visible on Loki's face vanishes, and his head tilts back to allow Thor to suck a bruise into his throat.  "Good."


End file.
